


Christmas Cactus Flowers and Mistletoe Berries

by speccygeekgrrl



Series: Desert Flowers and Cactus Spines [2]
Category: Original Work, Red Dead Redemption (Video Games)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Canon Autistic Character, Canon Character of Color, Canon Gay Character, Canon Jewish Character, Christmas, Christmas Dinner, Christmas Smut, Clothing, Communication, First Time Topping, Gift Exchange, Holidays, M/M, Sweet, Teasing, Undressing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:07:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28367397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/speccygeekgrrl/pseuds/speccygeekgrrl
Summary: The holiday season doesn't hold much significance for either Zalel or Adinal, but lacking any traditions for Christmas means they can make up their own. A Christmas visit to Raylan's saloon finds gifts exchanged, friends surprised, and Kier letting slip something Zalel didn't realize Adinal hoped to receive, but is more than happy to give him.
Relationships: Adinal Webster/Zalel Loratoris, Original Male Character/Original Male Character
Series: Desert Flowers and Cactus Spines [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2077476
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	Christmas Cactus Flowers and Mistletoe Berries

**Author's Note:**

> I thought I was done with these boys when I finished up Desert Flowers... nope. Nowhere near done with them yet. I have a few more tales to tell about them, but here's a sweet, sappy, sexy holiday fic that will hopefully have a second chapter before New Year's. I've also got a couple stories about Raylan and Kier and their domain of debauchery, so stay tuned.

Sometimes, they could hear the piano from the saloon even from the next building over. Zalel was sitting at the desk, writing a letter to his parents, and Adinal was sitting on the couch reading one winter night, when they caught the distinct melody of "The Twelve Days of Christmas" overlaid with drunken, incomprehensible voices.

"How'd you celebrate Christmas?" Adinal asked. "It's comin' up fast."

"I don't," Zalel said. "I'm Jewish." 

"Oh," Adinal said, brows shooting up. "D'you tell me that before an' I missed it somehow?"

"No, it just ain't come up yet," Zalel said, put down the pen, and turned to face Adinal with a worried expression. "I'm... not as observant as Ma would prefer. Why, how do _you_ celebrate Christmas?"

"I don't," Adinal said. "I got nothin' to celebrate. Useta go down to Raylan's, just fer the company, but..." He shrugged one shoulder. "Ain't got much use fer Jesus, way I live my life. Got less use fer Christians, way they live theirs."

"We could go to Raylan's this year," Zalel said. "No reason not to see the folks you care 'bout."

"If we're goin' out Blackwater way, we should stop by yer parents too." 

"I was hopin' you'd say that." Zalel abandoned the desk to come perch next to Adinal on the couch, gently taking the book from him and setting it facedown on the side table before taking Adinal's hands. "Well, since neither of us cares about Christmas, what about New Year's?"

"...I don't wanna tell you," Adinal said, looking down at their hands. "It's kinda silly."

"Yer not silly. You know I won't laugh at you."

"I write myself a letter, New Year's Eve, an' after midnight, I read the letter I wrote the year before," Adinal admitted. 

"That ain't silly," Zalel protested. "Whatcha write in 'em?"

"All manner of thing. My hopes, my fears... things that happened I don't wanna lose, lessons I hope I'll remember."

"...what's goin' in the one you write this year?"

"Don't know 'til I write it," Adinal said, and looked up with a strange half-smile. "Can't imagine it'll be anythin' but a love letter this year. 'Dear future Adinal, you best still be with Zalel when you read this, an' here's a list of two hundred an' thirty-seven reasons you love him.'"

"Two hundred an' thirty-seven, huh?" Zalel couldn't help but smile. "You gonna share that list with me?"

"Darlin', I wanna share the rest of my life with you, I sure ain't tryin' to withhold all the reasons that's true." Adinal pulled their hands up and kissed Zalel's knuckles gently. "You want a recitation tonight, or are you givin' me a chance to compose it first?"

"I'll settle fer one reason tonight," Zalel said playfully.

"I love you because yer too kind to mock my sentimentality," Adinal said.

"Adinal, why on earth would I mock the thing that makes you honest about yer feelings? Yer sentimental _about_ me, I _revel_ in yer sentimentality." Gently, Zalel took his hands out of Adinal's grip only to catch his face between both hands and lean in to kiss him sweetly. "Mayhaps I'll take up this tradition beside you. Spend a quiet night writin' to our future selves, an' then take joy in how year-ago you couldn'ta seen me comin'."

"Oh, Zalel, if I'da dreamt you up before I met you, I never woulda believed you were real," Adinal breathed against his lips, and kissed him back. 

They decided to go to Blackwater first, stop by Loratoris Ranch on their way back to Armadillo, and be back in their own home to write those letters and share a kiss at midnight to ring in the new year. The sun was almost set by the time they made it to their destination on Christmas Eve to find the saloon in high spirits. Raylan kissed their cheeks and sent them upstairs to fancy up for dinner.

"What's this?" Adinal asked in surprise when Zalel sat next to him on the couch and handed him a neatly wrapped box tied with a red ribbon he’d produced from a saddlebag.

"It's a present," Zalel said, and poked it against Adinal's chest when he didn't immediately take it. "Fer you."

"You don't hafta get me presents, darlin'," Adinal said, and didn't reach for it.

"It's fer both of us, really," Zalel said. "C'mon, take it. It’s my first attempt at a Christmas present. Yer gonna make me cry if you don't."

"Well, I can't have that," Adinal said, taking it immediately. "Hmm, it ain't heavy. Fits in this box. An' it's fer both of us?" He shook it gently. "Can't guess."

"You could just open it," Zalel said. "Ain't you ever—" He stopped in the middle of his sentence, one hand coming up to cover his mouth. "You haven't, have you. Gotten a present like this."

"All fancy with a bow like this? Can't say as I have," Adinal said. 

"Go on an' open it, then," Zalel said. "It ain't bad fer a first-ever fancy present, I think."

Adinal bit his lip as he picked apart the bow of the ribbon and coiled it around his hand when it came free. He glanced up to find Zalel watching him with an intensity that would have been unnerving from anyone else, smiled slightly, and looked back down to lift the lid from the box.

The first thing he noticed about the contents was the unusual, incredibly vivid color of the cloth, a gorgeous shade of crimson that almost seemed to burn. The second thing he noticed was the line of pearl buttons, and then when he picked it up and shook it out, the third and fourth things he noticed were the unusually pleasant texture and the high cut of the collar of the shirt. 

"I told you, I bet you'd look nice in that color. Couldn't resist havin' it made fer you when I came across the fabric," Zalel confessed. "I know you said it was garish fer yer tastes, but..."

"It's beautiful," Adinal said, rubbing one sleeve between finger and thumb and trying not to sigh aloud at how nice the cloth felt. 

"Will you put it on fer me?" 

"You wanna take off the one I got on now?" Adinal asked hopefully, beaming when Zalel's hands immediately went to untuck his shirt and start unbuttoning it from the bottom up.

"If it's too eye-catchin' to wear in public, I understand," Zalel said quietly as Adinal's scars started coming into view as his shirt opened. "I know you don't like drawin' attention, an’ there ain’t no way you won’t cut a figure in this."

Adinal swallowed as Zalel's fingers brushed his throat when he flicked open the final button. "Be awful churlish of me not to wear such a lovely gift." He shrugged out of his shirt and paused when Zalel settled one hand over his heart. 

"I don't mind if you wear it just fer me," Zalel said, and a smile tugged at his lips. "But I think you'd cause _quite_ the stir if we go downstairs with you lookin' so fine."

"I cause a stir here regardless of my clothin'," Adinal said, "but I can't say I'd mind watchin' some jaws drop when we walk down." He stood up from the couch and rolled his shoulders before picking up the red shirt he'd been unbuttoning while Zalel had been unbuttoning him. "Close yer eyes," he said playfully, and waited for Zalel to obey before he slipped into the shirt and started buttoning it up. The cloth that had felt so pleasant to his fingers was just as ridiculously soft against the rest of his skin, and he couldn't help letting out a pleased sigh as he slipped pearl buttons through their holes. It fit like a dream, and the collar covered all the marks on his neck completely. 

Zalel turned into Adinal's touch when fingers brushed his cheek. "You can open them, darlin'." 

Blue eyes blinked open and went as wide as Adinal had ever seen them. Zalel reached up and carefully, delicately drew his hand down Adinal's chest just to the left of the row of buttons. "Oh, my," Zalel breathed, both dimples showing as he looked Adinal up and down. "Oh, my _word_ . You look..." He shook his head and laughed. "I don't _have_ words."

"Oh, c'mon," Adinal teased. "You got more words than most men. You gotta give me one of 'em." He put his shoulders back and struck a valiant pose. "How do I look?"

"You look like a legend," Zalel said after a moment of thought and intense scrutiny, sounding utterly smitten.

"I don't know about that..." Adinal couldn't help himself; _legend_ was a big word, a lot to live up to. 

"Adinal, you can't ever take a compliment," Zalel chided.

"I don't get many of 'em, y'know." 

"Well, I'll be the one to give you all that you've been bereft of," Zalel said. "Presents, an' compliments, an' companionship, an'—" 

Adinal leaned down and kissed him before Zalel's words could fluster him further. The kid didn't need to do a single thing more than be there at his side to make Adinal happy, and yet Zalel kept showing his love in so many different ways, most of which weren't things that anyone had seen fit to do for Adinal before, many of which were things he never would have thought to ask for. "Thank you," he breathed against Zalel's lips, and kissed him again, a little softer and sweeter. "Thank you, darlin'."

"You wanna thank me, let's go downstairs an' see what the sight of you does to Raylan and Kier," Zalel said, mischief in his eyes. "I think that'll be a gift fer both of us fer sure."

“I got somethin’ fer you, too… not quite this nice,” Adinal said, and pulled a gift wrapped in a blue bandanna out of the inner pocket of his coat to offer it to Zalel with both hands. “Hope you like it.”

“Ooh,” Zalel said, carefully unfolding the cloth to discover a leatherbound journal and two unsharpened pencils. “ _Ooh_ ! Oh, wow…” He unfolded the journal, caressed one page of smooth, creamy paper, and shivered in excitement. “Lookit how crisp, an' the pages are bigger than my last book! I’m gonna put _so many things_ in this, I can’t wait. Oh, Adinal, thank you so much!” Carefully folding the pencils into the book and wrapping the cover, Zalel put it aside and put his arms around Adinal, fingers tapping happily against Adinal’s back. “Yer so thoughtful. This is perfect.”

“I’m afraid I got a ways to go before I reach custom-made luxury clothing levels of gift-givin’,” Adinal said, fingers tapping his own chest just to indulge in the softness of the fabric, “but I saw yer almost at the end of the one you’ve had, an’ this was the nicest one I could find.”

“I love it,” Zalel said, “I love you, I love _you_ , so much…” Adinal found himself bowled over with kisses, laughed, and let Zalel do his level best to stretch them out on the couch that ended with Adinal just barely catching himself from falling off it entirely.

It took a few minutes for them to get presentable once they’d stopped giggling, and Zalel gently herded Adinal down the stairs ahead of him, looking down to clock what would undoubtedly be the most amusing reactions to the sight of Adinal in such fine tailoring. Raylan looked over from the bar first, and then froze, mouth half-open and eyes all the way open. Neither of them could hear her across the crowded room, but Adinal could read her lips mouthing _Sweet fancy Christ on a bicycle_ , and he beamed in response. A murmur passed through the room, and one of the painted ladies who hadn’t found a partner for the night let out a wolf whistle as Adinal stepped off the stairs.

“Why, Marshal Webster…” They’d been hoping to catch Kier by surprise, but the purr came from behind them. Adinal turned to find his friend giving him a slow, thorough up-and-down look with a cat-in-the-cream smile on his face. “Aren’t you looking fine as anything. That color suits you, darling.”

“That’s why I picked it out fer him,” Zalel said, drawing Kier’s attention for just a moment.

“Oh, it was a _gift_ …” Kier flirted his fingers across Adinal’s chest and up to his collar. “Well _done_ , deputy, you know how to flatter him perfectly.” Before Zalel could swat Kier’s hand away, Kier stepped back to catch both of the lawmen in his estimating gaze. “In more than one way,” he added in a thoughtful tone.

“He don’t need flatterin’,” Zalel said. “He’s already the finest man I know.”

“No doubt,” Kier agreed easily. “Never met his like before or since.”

Caught between them, Adinal could feel his face burning, unaccustomed to such extravagant compliments though both Zalel and Kier said nice things about him regularly. He ducked his head slightly and said, “Hope like hell I’m the only one of my kind on earth. Nobody else need go through my life.”

“Rare an’ precious,” Zalel breathed behind him, and put a gentle hand low on Adinal’s back. “Best we find our seats for dinner,” he said a little louder. “Dunno ‘bout you, but I could eat a horse.”

“We don’t serve horse at this establishment,” Kier said. “Tonight your options are spiced ham or crackling goose, with roasted root vegetables and a truly marvelous figgy pudding. I’ve been looking forward to tonight’s menu for _weeks_.” 

“Sounds good,” Adinal said, mouth already watering at the thought of crispy goose skin. “Any tables left fer us?”

“As if we’d let you sit anywhere but with us, darling?” Kier scoffed. “Follow me, boys.” He lead them to a small table with four places laid out and gallantly pulled out Zalel’s chair, offering him something Zalel couldn’t distinguish between a smile and a smirk. “So. _Zalel_. How are you enjoying the life of a lawman, hmm?” he asked as he sat himself down across from the subject of his questioning.

“I like it,” Zalel said, shooting an uncertain glance at Adinal, who gave him a small nod. “I like bein’ helpful, an’ stoppin’ evildoers, an’ savin’ the day.”

“Ah, the _heroic_ type,” Kier said. “Makes sense. Adinal doesn’t keep company with folks with ill will.”

“Adinal has problems enough with folks with ill will,” Adinal muttered, not sure where Kier’s questions were leading but fairly sure he wasn’t going to like the trail they took en route to that destination. 

“Adinal’s a good man, an’ he deserves folk around him who are good too,” Zalel said, giving Kier a narrow-eyed look. “An’ what sorta folk are you?”

“ _Me_ ?” Kier asked, pressing a hand to his chest. “Oh, well, me, I’m just a devotee of beauty, a troubadour bringing a smile and a song to careworn hearts, a balladeer doing his best to immortalize those few people who deserve their deeds to live on…” His smile took on a mischievous edge. “Have I sung you the one about Adinal yet? It’s _quite_ a tune.”

“You wrote a song about Adinal?” Zalel’s eyes went wide. 

Adinal groaned quietly and hid his face in his hands. “Not at the dinner table, please…”

“Oh, don’t worry, dear boy, I’ll make sure you get to hear it,” Kier purred, and looked up with a smile when Raylan walked over to the table with four bottles carried easily in her steady hands. “Madam Dragoon graces us with her presence!”

“An’ with her finest brews,” Raylan said, doling the bottles out before she sat between Zalel and Kier. “Lord have mercy, I’m glad to be out from behind that bar fer an hour. Run m’self ragged keepin’ this place tickin’ along.”

“Take a load off,” Adinal said, and saluted her with the bottle before taking a long pull from it. “Ah, that’s the stuff.”

Zalel inspected his bottle carefully and found that it didn’t match the others; Raylan had brought him a sarsparilla instead of a beer, and he beamed at her before taking a sip. “Thanks, ma’am.”

“Don’t mention it, sweetie.” Raylan leaned forward slightly, eyeing Adinal with blatant appreciation. “You cut a fine figure, Marshal. A sight fer sore eyes.”

“Zalel thought I could stand a little fancyin’ up,” Adinal said with a smile.

“An’ he put you in cardinal red?” Raylan shook her head and sighed. “Like it ain’t tragic enough you don’t favor my kind, now you come through lookin’ like a present under the tree I just wanna tear the wrappin’ off…” 

“Lustful woman,” Kier caroled, and arched his brows at her when she shot a look at him. “Well, I can’t fault you! He does look like a gift. But you and I both know the kid didn’t wrap him up for our benefit.”

“You can benefit from the wrappin’,” Zalel said mildly. “But if Adinal’s a gift, he’s mine alone.”

“Lucky, lucky boy,” Kier sighed. “Don’t think I don’t see what you’re doing, kid.”

“What am I doing?” Zalel asked in bemusement.

“Bringing this darling man here, looking like a million bucks, _knowing_ how weak Raylan and I are for him… you’re rubbing it in. And I can’t blame you. Were he mine, I’d do the same.”

“Stop,” Adinal said, flustered past the point of comfort. Luckily for him, the servers came out with a first course of split pea soup and to take folks’ main course orders, bringing the focus off him and onto tastebuds.

“Does this have ham in it?” Zalel asked, stirring his spoon in his soup slowly.

“No, darlin’, it’s got mint an’ clementine, no meat in it at all,” Raylan said.

“ _Ooh_ ,” Zalel said, and tucked into it with gusto. He didn’t notice the curious look Kier gave him even though Kier stared for a long moment.

Conversation was much more sporadic over the meal, and much less focused on Adinal’s appearance. By the time the last bite of figgy pudding had been savored, Raylan started spinning Zalel a yarn about how Adinal had fought a duel not twenty paces away, right in front of the saloon, utterly enrapturing the duel-obsessed deputy.

Kier saw how focused Zalel was on Raylan’s tale and took the opportunity to lean in to purr into Adinal’s ear, “I don’t think you’ll accept your usual gift from me this year, but if you will, say the word, Addy, I’ll be _delighted_ to give it to you.”

“Can’t help yerself, can you?” Adinal said with a shake of his head. “Can’t accept, songbird.” For years, Kier had been the only person Adinal could trust enough to be sufficiently vulnerable with to get the kind of intimacy he craved. Though he cherished the memories of the nights they’d shared company and affection, Adinal had no desire at all to return to Kier’s arms now that Zalel was giving him the love he’d dreamed of for so long.

“Will you be getting it from the devoted deputy now?” Kier teased as he sat back. “Hate to think you won’t get it at all, much as you love it…”

“Get what?” Zalel asked, attention diverted from Raylan’s story by the sound of his rank. “What ain’t he gettin’?”

“Don’t worry about it,” Adinal said hastily, at the same time Kier said with obvious relish, “Getting _taken_ , darling, are you treating this man right?”

“I treat him best I know how,” Zalel said, focusing on Adinal’s embarrassed expression and not Kier’s mischievous one. “Am I not doin’ somethin’ you want me to do?”

“We can discuss it _later_ ,” Adinal said, and kicked Kier hard under the table. Kier didn’t look even slightly abashed, just gave him a smirk and a wink and swanned off, leaving the lovers staring at each other over a flickering candle. Raylan took one look at how Zalel was gazing at Adinal with his whole heart in his eyes, laughed quietly, and made herself scarce.

“You know I’ll do anythin’ you ask,” Zalel said softly, “you know that, right?”

“I know,” Adinal murmured, “but that don’t make it easy to ask, darlin’.”

“I know,” Zalel echoed, and touched Adinal’s wrist, one finger on the soft new shirt and one finger on warm brown skin, tapping gently. “I ain’t gonna push. Just, all you gotta do is ask. I wanna be the one who gives you what you need to be happy.”

“When we go upstairs,” Adinal said.

“Can we go there now?” When Adinal gave him an astonished look, Zalel offered a shrug and a sheepish smile in return. “What? I’m gonna wonder what Kier meant until you tell me. You know how I am.”

“I’m gonna wring his neck,” Adinal muttered. “Go on, I’ll be up in a minute. Just gotta say my good nights.” 

“Don’t keep me waitin’,” Zalel said, pure eagerness in his voice. Adinal watched him ascend the stairs with butterflies in his stomach, terrified to ask for what he wanted even though Zalel had already promised to give it to him. As soon as Zalel was out of eyeshot, Adinal shook himself and went to find Kier.

“Change your mind about that gift of mine?” Kier chirped flirtatiously when Adinal put a hand on his shoulder at the bar.

“Kid’s gonna give it to me,” Adinal said.

“ _Good_. I approve. Disappointed as I am that I don’t get to participate this year, you deserve to be pleased by someone who cares for you.”

“I didn’t think it’d happen tonight… I don’t have everythin’ I need,” Adinal said awkwardly.

Kier bit his lip and giggled, a low dirty sound only Adinal was close enough to hear. “Oh, darling, you know I’ve got you covered.” Those damned clever hands moved too fast to follow; Adinal felt a brush against his chest and then the weight of something slipped into his trouser pocket. “You tell that boy to be sweet to you,” Kier said.

“Ain’t gotta tell him,” Adinal said. “That’s just how he is.” He leaned in and rubbed his cheek against Kier’s, breathed, “Merry Christmas, mischief-maker,” into his ear, and turned to find Raylan on the other side of the bar from them. “Raylan! Callin’ it a night. Merry Christmas.”

“It sure is,” Raylan said, looking at Kier for the gossip and getting a wink of a promise. “G’night, Addy.”

When Adinal tapped at the door, Zalel cracked it open, blue eyes peeking through. “Who goes there,” he said, giggling too hard to make it a question.

“Federal Marshal,” Adinal said, gently pushing on the door with one hand. “Got a report of an officer in distress here…”

“In distress? No sir,” Zalel said innocently.

“It’s me,” Adinal said. “I’m in distress cause you ain’t lettin’ me in.” Instantly Zalel let go of it, and the moment the door closed behind Adinal Zalel’s arms were around him. “That’s more like it!”

“I don’t wanna distress you,” Zalel said, a bit of anxiety bleeding through his playfulness. “I wanna do the opposite of distress you.”

Adinal pulled back far enough to look Zalel in the eyes, laying a hand against his clean-shaven cheek. “You wanna please me?” he breathed hopefully.

“I do, I do wanna please you, that’s what I want.” Zalel caught Adinal’s hand against his face and nodded. “Tell me what you want me to do to please you.”

“I want…” Even being so directly asked, Adinal couldn’t help balking to admit his desires, but when Zalel gave him a wordless pleading look Adinal swallowed and whispered, “I wanna take you inside me tonight… I wanna be that close to you.”

“Oh,” Zalel breathed, gaze falling to Adinal’s lips when he asked, “You don’t mean like you already have?”

“No. Not like that.”

“Then you’re gonna hafta tell me what _taken_ actually means,” Zalel said, “because I wanna do it to you, but I don’t know what to do, and I wanna do it right.”

“C’mere,” Adinal said, and tugged Zalel over to the bed to start unbuttoning his shirt. “I love you,” he said, letting himself touch Zalel’s skin as he exposed it, the flatness of his belly, the soft patch of hair on his pale, freckled chest, the line of his collarbone as the last button released. “I love everythin’ about you. I love yer generosity.”

“Ain’t bein’ generous to give you somethin’ we both benefit from,” Zalel demurred, rolling his shoulders as Adinal pushed his shirt off. 

“That ain’t all you give me, darlin’, an’ you know it.” Adinal’s hands went to Zalel’s belt next, and he added, “I love how yer so effortlessly kind.”

“Nothin’ but what you deserve,” Zalel said, voice gone breathy as Adinal peeled open his pants and reached inside. “Ah… Addy… tell me, tell me how to give you what you want, please tell me.”

“I want this beautiful part of my beautiful partner,” Adinal said, giving Zalel’s cock a slow, firm stroke that made Zalel shiver, “pressed all the way into my asshole til I’m chock-fulla the best man I ever known.”

“Oh,” Zalel said, cheeks that had started to flush going entirely red in an instant. “Ain’t that gonna hurt you? I don’t wanna hurt you.” 

“It don’t hafta hurt,” Adinal said. “If we take it nice an’ slow, it’ll be just fine.” He went down on one knee to ease Zalel’s pants down his long legs and off entirely, and couldn’t help swaying in to lick teasingly at Zalel’s erection since he was face to face with it anyways. 

Zalel whimpered and pulled at Adinal’s shoulders until he stood back up. “Your turn,” he insisted, gentle fingers working open the pretty buttons of Adinal’s fine shirt until he could lean down to kiss Adinal’s chest, the shiny scar where Zalel had stitched his wound on the day they met that felt like so long ago. “I love you, I wanna make you happy,” he murmured, and started trailing kisses all over Adinal’s chest and neck, mouthing gently at the marks on his skin. “I got a mind to give you everythin’ you want. Just as nice an’ slow as it takes.”

“Oh, Zalel…” Adinal ran his fingers through Zalel’s hair in a soft caress, then kissed the crown of his head. “Love you so much, you glorious boy.”

Zalel had to spend a bit more time on his knees than Adinal did, tugging off Adinal’s boots before he could get Adinal’s pants off, and then he stayed there, one cheek pressed to Adinal’s hip, both hands squeezing and kneading Adinal’s ass with passionate curiosity. “What do you want me to do now?”

“In my pants pocket, there was somethin’...” 

“But I don’t wanna stop touchin’ you,” Zalel muttered, and let go with only one hand to fumble at the puddle of Adinal’s trousers until he found what Kier had slipped into Adinal’s pocket, a small green glass vial that he held up for Adinal to take. “What is it, snake oil?”

“Some kinda oil,” Adinal said, unstoppering the vial to sniff at the contents, then lowering it for Zalel to take a sniff. “Yer the herbalist, what is it?”

“Umm…” Zalel breathed in, furrowed his brow, and said, “Sunflower oil an’ aloe vera, I think?” He took the vial and spilled a little on his fingers to rub them together. “It’s real slick.”

“Good, that’s what we want,” Adinal said. “Lemme have it back, I can get myself ready for you…”

“No,” Zalel said firmly. “I wanna do it. I want you to tell me what to do. I wanna know just how to do what you want, so I can do it whenever you want.”

“Then we best move to the bed,” Adinal said, trying not to tremble too obviously at the fierce passion in Zalel’s voice. There was no way he could keep on his feet while those gentle hands prepared him. When Zalel rose back to his full height, he nuzzled his way up Adinal’s chest and ended with a kiss on his lips and an excited smile. The bed was soft and clean when Adinal laid himself across it with bent, splayed legs that Zalel eagerly settled himself between, studying Adinal’s cock with all the intensity he showed any herb that he intended to commit to his journal in art. Thinking about Zalel drawing his naked body made Adinal shiver again, twin feelings of _I want him to do that_ and _he can’t ever do that_.

“Now,” Zalel said, and drew a hand up Adinal’s thigh that brushed incidentally against Adinal’s cock, slipped underneath his balls, and traced a line across tender skin that lead straight to Adinal’s asshole that twitched under the touch of Zalel’s slick fingertip. “Is this where you want me?” he asked in a hushed voice.

“ _Ah…_ yeah. Right there,” Adinal whispered. 

“Ain’t no way I’m gettin’ in there,” Zalel said, pressing testingly to discover that Adinal was too tight to take even a fingertip yet. “Not this tight little thing.”

“Oh yes you will.” Adinal wanted it to be a demand, but it came out as a whimper when Zalel kept moving his finger, stroking gently against the exact spot that turned Adinal most weak with desire.

“You’ve done this before?” Zalel’s skepticism colored his voice. “You know it won’t hurt, fer sure?”

“I won’t let you hurt me,” Adinal promised. “Just do as I say an’ it won’t hurt at all.”

“Then you best tell me what do to,” Zalel said. “Cause it seems to me like we’re gonna need a magic trick fer me to fit inside you.” 

“No magic ‘cept the magic of you lovin’ me at all,” Adinal said. “Put a bit more oil on yer fingers an’ keep rubbin’ at me just like that, darlin’, you gotta coax yer way into me, but believe me I want you there.”

“Oh, I think I see…” Zalel paused to slicken his fingers and went back to rubbing Adinal with two fingertips this time. “It’s just a muscle, ain’t it? I know how to make muscles relax. Just gotta find the right amount of pressure…”

“Bless those lovely hands of yours,” Adinal sighed, and let his head fall back against the bed, taking slow deep breaths and letting out pleasured sighs as his body yielded to Zalel’s sweet ministrations. “Ohh, bless you, beloved.”

“Got all the blessin’s I need,” Zalel said, watching very closely as he eased one finger into Adinal. “Why, lookit that,” he murmured, pressing slowly in to the second knuckle. “Tell me how it feels, Addy, cause I sure ain’t felt nothin’ like this before.”

“Feels… feels like…” It was hard for Adinal to string together words with Zalel’s finger moving around curiously inside him. He knotted his fingers in the bedsheets and said, “Feels good, but not enough. Not nearly enough. Need more of you.”

“Not enough,” Zalel echoed, and kept going, slipping his finger in and out as he worked Adinal open enough to accept a second one that slid past his tight rim and dragged a yelp out of his throat that Adinal stifled into his own hand. “Little bit more, huh? Ain’t too much?” he asked tenderly.

“Ain’t gonna be enough til yer buried inside me,” Adinal gasped. “Can’t be satisfied with any less.”

“Shh, don’t worry, Addy, I’m fixin’ to give you everythin’ you need.” Zalel tipped the little green vial to drizzle its contents over his fingers as he worked them into Adinal, an easy slide in and out as he twisted his fingers back and forth. “You don’t know what this is doin’ to me… watchin’ you open up like this fer me… I can’t even imagine what it’ll feel like givin’ you what you want, but I want it too, Adinal, I want to know, I want the look on yer face when I push into you an’ fill you up, I want this—” Zalel scissored his fingers and Adinal’s whole body jolted. “— _unbelievable_ tightness wrapped around me, I _want to know how it feels_ …” 

“Please,” Adinal whimpered, arching his hips off the bed. “Please, darlin’, give it to me, _take_ me, take me an’ find out!”

“No,” Zalel said, stretched his fingers apart again, “not yet, I won’t fit yet,” and worked a third one into Adinal with no resistance. “Almost.”

“You ain’t gonna hurt me now, please let me have yer cock, please, please…” Adinal threw his arm over his eyes to hide the tears he could feel welling up as he begged.

“No, Adinal,” Zalel said, as sweetly as he knew how. “Not quite yet.” He looked down at his fingers as he lined them up and slowly gave them a twist that dragged a ragged gasp from Adinal’s throat. “There,” he said. “That looks about right. Now yer ready.”

“Zalel…” Adinal shivered as Zalel’s fingers pulled out of him, and he rolled onto his front and buried his face in a pillow. “Please,” he said, voice muffled but audible. “Please take me now.” There was no way he could stop the tears now that they were flowing, but they weren’t tears of sadness. He had so much fear and anxiety tangled up with his desires that being carefully, tenderly given what he needed unraveled his defenses; Zalel’s steadfast insistence on not hurting Adinal unlocked the same depth of emotion, but in a completely different direction.

“Yes,” Zalel said. Adinal felt hands at his hips, the warm steady grip of fingers that had never touched him but in kindness, and spread his legs wider to give Zalel room to move in. “Yes, Adinal, you can have it now. I’m all yours.” 

The breath caught in Adinal’s throat when Zalel pressed into him, one slow, smooth push of his hips that left him wrapped securely around Adinal, fitted together like hand in glove, as easy as if they’d been meant for it. Adinal couldn’t gasp, couldn’t sob, couldn’t do anything but tremble as Zalel kissed anywhere he could reach, the nape of Adinal’s neck, the slopes of his shoulders, the breadth of his back, lips caressing the scars that Adinal had incurred through wanting this intimacy from the wrong person. Though even Zalel’s talented hands couldn’t remove the marks from Adinal’s skin, he could heal Adinal’s soul, salving his spiritual wounds with all the kindness and sweetness that Zalel could bring to bear, every loving word and gentle touch adding another careful stitch to the patchwork mess of Adinal’s heart that had been a mere pile of scraps before Zalel got to him and started piecing together something transcendent out of Adinal’s tragic life. 

“Ohh,” Zalel sighed, a long, shaky sound that stirred Adinal’s hair and squeezed his heart. “Oh, Addy, I ain’t _ever_ felt anythin’ like this before…” He moved his hips barely an inch and shivered hard. “Tell me what to do now, please?”

Adinal turned his head on the pillow, gasped for breath, and begged, “Go it strong, darlin’, don’t hold anythin’ back. I want all you got to give me.” He wished he could see the look on Zalel’s face right now, but keeping his own face hidden was more imperative; if the kid saw Adinal crying there was no way he’d go on, but if he stopped now Adinal would _really_ start sobbing. 

“Yessir,” Zalel replied, in the same earnest tone he used whenever Adinal gave him an order as they went about their work. His hands flexed gently on Adinal’s hips as Zalel drew back and thrust in again, not quite as slow or gentle as the first time, and picked up the pace over the next few thrusts until they were going at it hammer and tongs, Adinal’s cries stifled into that now quite damp pillow and Zalel’s breathless gasps filling the room over the slap of skin on skin as their bodies strived together toward a bliss they hadn’t shared before that proved to be far closer than either realized.

By the time Zalel spilled into Adinal and went boneless on top of him, bearing Adinal down against the sticky mess he'd just made of the bedsheets below them, there were no questions left to ask, no doubts left to soothe, only two blissworn bodies in a messy heap. Even though he wasn't entirely comfortable under Zalel’s weight, Adinal wasn't going to breathe a word of complaint; wet sheets and shallow breaths were insignificant problems compared to the warmth and security of being wrapped in Zalel's arms and covered completely by his lanky body, aching deliciously around where Zalel still filled him up. 

In the aftermath, Zalel breathed hotly against Adinal's shoulderblade as he recollected his senses, pressing open-mouthed kisses against his scarred skin. "That felt different," he said quietly.

Adinal let out a shaky laugh and turned his head on the pillow so Zalel could clearly hear him when he murmured, "That _was_ different, darlin'."

"I guess yer right," Zalel said. "I... liked it," he admitted. "I liked it a _lot_. Did you?"

"Zalel, you got no idea how long I've wanted 'xactly what you just gave me," Adinal sighed. "Believe you me, beloved, if you like it that much, you can have it any time you care to, not just on holidays."

"Don't tell me that," Zalel said. "Cause if you like it that much an' I like it that much, we're gonna end up doin' it _all_ the time."

Adinal couldn't help the shiver that wracked his body at how casually Zalel mentioned something that Adinal felt like he shouldn't ask for, and Zalel couldn't help but notice, plastered to Adinal's back and slowly softening inside him as he was. "Gotta set some rules," Adinal said faintly. "Or else I just ain't gonna let you outta bed again."

"We got lives to live," Zalel pointed out. "Jobs to do. Can't abandon the wider world just 'cause the world we make between us is so lovely." He kissed Adinal's neck again and murmured, "but whenever we're safe, with a lockin' door between us an' the rest of the world... if this is what you want, I'll give it to you more’n gladly."

"I didn't think I could love you more, but every single day, you make me realize I got no idea how much love I have to give you," Adinal breathed, and reached back to pat Zalel's hair softly. "Yer a gift I don't deserve."

"No," Zalel said, and moved his lips to brush the curve of Adinal's ear. "You do deserve me. You deserve so much, but all I have to offer is me. An' I'm yours, Adinal, as long as you want me."

Adinal couldn't hide his tears this time, but there was no reason to try any more. He stroked Zalel's hair and let himself be overwhelmed by the pure affection Zalel insisted he was worthy to receive, the kisses and caresses and soothing Adinal needed so badly but couldn’t put into words, the snug, safe embrace of his lover that let Adinal fall into soft, dreamless sleep.

They stayed in Blackwater two more days, days full of Kier’s wink-nudge-smirk joking, Raylan’s friendly but persistent gossip-digging, and a chance for Adinal to do some gossip-digging of his own when that blond man Kier had been mooning over last time they’d visited came by and looked considerably more friendly with him than anything that could be described as _mooning_ now. Before they left, Zalel put several hours’ work into his slowly-improving poker face, even managing to win a couple hands against Kier, though Adinal had his doubts about whether the card shark had set it up for the kid to win just to make him feel like he was doing well. 

When Adinal and Zalel set off from the saloon, they both got kisses on both cheeks from Raylan and Kier, but only Zalel got an extra whisper in his ear from Kier, a quiet and fierce, “You be _good_ to him, now.” Zalel could only answer with a nod because thinking too hard about all the ways he had to be good to Adinal just made his freckles disappear under a blush. He couldn’t help letting his mind wander through it while they rode to see his parents, though; the past three days had significantly expanded Zalel’s repertoire of ways to make Adinal happy, and the memory of Adinal’s passionate little sounds stifled into Zalel’s kisses when Zalel had taken him face-to-face kept Zalel flushed and warm despite the chill of the December winds they were riding straight into as they went west.


End file.
